We’re a little over a month in and I gotta say, I’m pretty proud of us for not killing each other…yet.
I feel really really lucky to be going through all of this with Brandon. We’re all experiencing this unprecedented level of stress and anxiety and the unknown. I’m not sure how I’d be handling it all if I wasn’t at home with B. Also – don’t get me wrong. He’s not a perfect prince charming. This guy is still playing Call of Duty nonstop and don’t even get me started on the fact that he keeps inhaling all of my “healthy” snacks…
But, at the end of the day, we’re learning and navigating our current normal and I’ve learned a few things about our relationship along the way.
Note: this is less of a blog post and more of a journal entry. To be honest, I don’t have much advice to offer. I think every relationship is so different but I wanted to document how I’m feeling on this day so we have something to look back at when we’re past all of the chaos 🙂
What I’ve Learned About My Relationship During Quarantine
We need space…and quality time. We’ve finally mastered a good “schedule”. I’m in my office and Brandon has his “office” setup in the dining room. The first few days were a bit of a mess. Brandon was adjusting to WFH life and would NOT leave me alone (love him). I also wasn’t used to having someone here all day when I’m typically used to having the house to myself. A few weeks in and we’ve finally got our rhythm down. During the day, we’re both working and try to give each other some space. We eat lunch together in the living room (he plays Call of Duty, I watch Nashville). We then regroup after my afternoon workout and eat dinner together, watch movies and just hang out on or off our phones. We also try to do something fun on the weekends like a movie marathon or a date night theme.
Laughter is key. Brandon is a goofy guy. It’s one of the things I love most about him. However, when I’m working, I tend to find it more on the annoying side because it can be a distraction. I’ve come to learn to be more relaxed and not take things so seriously during this time and to just give in to the goofiness every now and then. Having someone to laugh with and goof around with and dance with throughout the day has done wonders for my soul and my sanity.
We love to FaceTime. We have been FaceTiming and Zooming our friends and family almost every day and we both have agreed we want to do that even when all of this passes. We’ve always been FT people but now that it’s all we have to connect with folks, we sort of can’t get enough. We’re planning to host more virtual dinner parties and happy hours with our friends and family over the next few weeks and keep joking we’ll do a FaceTime wedding!
We’re in no rush to start planning the wedding. In normal circumstances, I probably would have our entire wedding planned and booked. That’s my OCD and uber-productive side. This time of us all being on “pause” has sort of forced us to take things slow and just enjoy the engagement. Sure, we talk about ideas and I have a little list going of things to do or look into, but I love that there’s no pressure to just dive in and get things done right away.
Patience can be learned. I’ll be the first to admit that we’re not the best communicators. Brandon likes his space and time to calm down. I like to cry and resolve things in the moment. The two of these don’t really mix that well. Because we’re around each other 24/7 now, we both have been putting in the extra effort to be more patient and calm so we can avoid arguments over smaller things. And it’s actually working. Who knew! Before complaining about something or picking a fight over something we normally would have bickered about before, we’re taking a beat to step back, decide if it’s worth discussing and learning to be more patient and forgiving over little things. I can honestly say that our communication has improved during quarantine!