From You to You: Relationship Advice

Yes. This is ‘Men Are From Mars. Women Are From Venus.

One of my favorite ways to connect with you guys lately has been getting your perspective and insight on different topics. I took to Instagram to ask you guys all about topic number one: relationships. The best advice you’ve heard. The worst advice you’ve received. And of course, your favorite ways to spend quality time with your boo. So. Many. Responses. And all so freaking helpful, no matter what stage you are in your relationship.

I poured through all of your responses and rounded up some of the more popular ones – and a few of my favorites. Check ’em out below and share with a friend (or your significant other)!

The Best Advice…

You guys poured in with such great relationship advice! Words from your mom, words from your friends, words from your therapist and words from your own personal experiences. I loved it all. Can you relate to any of these? Drop a comment if you can!

  • You have to have your own life, your own happiness and your own passions. 
  • Be the partner you want to have. 
  • It’s not you versus your partner. It’s you and your partner versus the issue. 
  • Don’t be afraid to seek help and see a therapist. 
  • You don’t have to wait until things are in trouble to see a therapist. Start going even when things are going great! 
  • Similar to the 5 Love Language, let your partner know how you show love and have your partner do the same. Then discuss. If you don’t show love the same way (chances are, you don’t), work together on a plan on how you can meet the other person’s needs. 
  • Always keep a queen-size bed. 
  • Communication will make or break a relationship. Focus on building strong communication skills that work for YOU as a couple, not necessarily someone else. 
  • Life isn’t a fantasy. It won’t always be perfect. Enjoy the imperfect moments and look at them as opportunities to grow together. 
  • Don’t compare your situation to other relationships. Our your energy into building your own and making it thrive. 
  • Take time to appreciate the other person. 
  • Love is a verb. 
  • Don’t compare sacrifices. 

The Worst Advice…

We’ve all received that horrible relationship advice. Maybe we’ve given it…oops. The thing is, every relationship is different so we give advice based on what has worked for us. Even some of the things above might not work for you and your boor. But at the end of the day, you guys all came through with some of the same “bad tips” and I tend to agree on these.

  • Never go to bed angry: While this might work for some, some people need time to process and get through their emotions. Brandon is that way. I used to think going to bed with tension was always bad. Now don’t get me wrong, we shouldn’t be going to bed with hatred but if he needs time to cool off, he should get that space. Just make it a point to make sure you discuss the issue rather that pushing it under the rug. Learn how your partner deals with conflict and work together to find a way of dealing with it that works for the two of you.
  • “That’s just how men are”: If you’re feeling disrespected or have this gut feeling that something isn’t right, don’t listen to the “popular” belief that it’s how all men are built. You deserve an amazing man who, regardless of flaws (we all have them), still shows up for you and respects you. It is true that men in general approach things differently but that doesn’t excuse bad behavior.
  • A husband is hard to find to make sure you keep him happy even if you aren’t: girl, if you aren’t happy, talk to your man. A relationship isn’t built around putting your partner first and ignoring your own needs. It should be a balance. 
  • Living together before marriage is a bad idea: everyone has their own timeline and path that works for them. The order you do life in with you partner shouldn’t matter to anyone but the two of you.  

Fun ways to spend time together!

Need some new ideas for ways to “date” your partner? Drop the phones and try some of these easy ideas.

  • Date night at least one night a week. Put the date in your calendar and make a recurring “event”. Try dinner, games, movies – and no phones allowed. 
  • Spend a few hours doing pretty much anything without phones. 
  • Brainstorming new ideas together as a couple. 
  • Cuddling, cuddling, cuddling…and then having a real conversation. 
  • Laughter. Doing anything together that makes us laugh and have fun. 
  • Taking new adventures together and traveling. 
  • Exercise together, go to a workout class or just go for a walk. 

Photos by Naomi Hopkins