I love today’s #REALationshipGoals post mainly because I think it’s the most relatable one we’ve had to date. We received the following question from our reader survey a few months ago:
“After being together for so many years, do you ever have moments where you feel like you have nothing to talk about because you already know pretty much everything about each other?”
Hell to the yes. Plain and simple. But it doesn’t necessarily mean the fun, passion, conversation, emotion, etc. has to fizzle. Keep reading below for some of our tips for keeping things fun in your relationships – no matter how long you’ve been together. Then head over to Mae’s blog for some sexy tips and check out Simply Sabrina for all things “keeping that connection alive”!
Play: How do you find fun things to do to keep the fun alive in your relationship?
Mae: For Nick and I, fun is a huge part of our relationship. We’ve been together for 11 years, but we were friends before that. One of the things that has always made this thing work is that we just genuinely enjoy being together and we have a lot of fun together. He cracks me up and I make him laugh out loud every day. We do a lot of fun things together (travel, events, concerts, etc.), but we also have a lot of fun in the day-to-day. We could be sitting in an empty room with nothing going on and find a way to have fun. We have dance parties while we cook, play cards while we watch TV, and tell each other funny stories while we run errands. These things are silly, but they are us. All relationships are different and these things might not suit some, but the important thing is that it’s a way for us to connect.
If you’re struggling to have fun in your relationship, fret not. Nick and I keep things entertaining most of the time because that’s part of our each of our personalities. But in the past, we’ve made a concerted effort to do more fun things. Not out of lack, but just, you know, for fun! We used to take turns every weekend planning a special date.The only rule was that whoever planned the date had to plan the date they wanted to go on. So I’d plan a date I wanted and he’d plan the date he wanted. It took pressure off of us to try to please the other and it kept us from talking ourselves out of a date if we couldn’t agree on what to do. It was so cool because not only did we get to go on a lot of fun dates, but we also learned more about each other and what the other actually wanted. We had already been married for a few years when we started this, mind you, so it was pretty neat to still learn new things about him. I’d recommend doing this every now and then to mix things up. We still do this from time to time but not every weekend because 1) it’s expensive and 2) we are actually both huge homebodies. But it’s nice to have this option in our back pocket!
Lauren: This is going to sound so annoying – but B and I haven’t really struggled with keeping things fun. Or at least not yet! We both love to try and experience new things. Whether it’s traveling, checking out a new restaurant or lounging around at home watching a silly movie (B loves ridiculous comedy and kids movies), we’ve somehow managed to always have something fun to do. Our “official” relationship is a little over a year old – so maybe that has something to do with it. Now don’t get me wrong. We definitely have days where we literally don’t do anything. But to be honest, I think we might enjoy that time as much as the “fun stuff”. This is probably going to sound really corny so I apologize in advance. But I really do believe that the whole idea of fun has everything to do with who you’re spending your time with. Brandon is one of the most fun loving, warm, silly + goofy people I know. So if things ever start to get slow in our relationship, I’m pretty sure he’ll figure out a way for us to have fun again!
If the above doesn’t really relate to you, I think taking a step back and figuring out the things you each like to do and then tackling them with each other is the best way to keep things fun. And even trying things outside of your comfort zone can be a way to liven things up a bit!
Sabrina:I’d say that living together and being married is the perfect recipe to fall into a boring routine. Work to home and home to work can get awfully dull to it’s important to spice up your life. My favorite thing to do is to make mundane events exciting. Cleaning the house? Take a break every 20 minutes and have a pillow fight. Making dinner? Try a new recipe from Tasty or YouTube and do it together (not divide & conquer). We gotta get through it all together, the exciting events and the boring chores – choose to make them both fun!