Oh, the topic of self-love. What is it? How does one love themselves? Why does this even matter?
Until recently, I would have told you that I 100% loved myself fully and completely. I mean, is it even possible to not love yourself??? Well friends, the answer is yes.
I’ve talked a lot about confidence and beating self-doubt but I’ve realized lately that you can still be confident but not totally love yourself. And I don’t even think it’s a conscious thing. It’s not like I wake up every day and am like, “Hey, I don’t think I’ll love myself today.”
For me, it looks more like, “Let me show the other people in my life how much I love them and accidentally put myself last.”
You hear about moms and wives doing this ALL of the time. While I’m neither a mom or a wife, alter some recent self-reflection, I realized I’ve been doing just that.
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When I take a look at my life, I see all of these warning signs that the self-love isn’t where it should be.
I’ve basically let my body take a huge L. I’m the unhealthiest I’ve ever been and it’s a little scary.
I found myself blurring the line between not trusting someone and being insecure…spoiler: they are different and are caused by many different factors.
I don’t fight for better. Whether it’s negotiating more money for a project or raising expectations with personal & professional relationships, I feel like I sort of just settle into what’s easy and comfortable.
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Now don’t get me wrong, there are parts of me that I really like. I think I’m doing a pretty good job of living the best life I can. I get to travel. I get to do what I love. I get to surround myself with people that are seriously amazing. BUT, and this is a big but, I can see that my lack of self-love has even had an impact on some of the awesome things I have going on.
So I’m making a change. I’m putting the focus back on myself and preparing to be a little more selfish. I need to figure out what will truly make me happy outside of material things, relationships, etc. What do I love to do, what do I love about myself, what do I need to improve?
I’ve discovered, maybe a little later than most, that getting to this point of loving/being slightly obsessed with yourself in a totally NON-narcissistic way is totally O-K. And honestly, it’s a little necessary. If you’re going to love someone else or follow your passions or be a good friend to your bestie, you can’t do it half ass and you can’t do it if you can’t even give yourself the same love and respect.
So this is happening. I’m making it my mission for as long as it takes to get to find a greater sense of self-love. It might happen in a week, it might take me a few months…who knows. It might be easy or it might be confusing AF to figure out but I’m excited to try something a little different and become a better version of myself.
Does this resonate with you at all? Have you overcome something in your life that peaked this rush of self-love? Please share – shoot me an email, DM or comment below!
Great post! I think this is a wonderful topic that needs more discussion and a heavier presence in the life of women. I still hear people complaining about women when they decide to do things for themselves, calling them selfish and immature. I think we need to change that outlook.
Nuff said! I love you!!
Love your beautiful blog and refreshing writing style. Keep up the good work!
You eloquently addressed a topic in which many of us as women must think about and consider. As you said, it is necessary for us to love ourselves unconditionally. Continue to be the amazing, beautiful and powerful YOU! Love you Lo!
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