No, not of marriage. But let me tell you something. When you make it through your first year living with your boyfriend, I still think you deserve a prize.
It’s crazy to think that this time last year, Brandon and I were making plans to not only take the next step in our relationship but we were also taking a huge step as adults. Yup, we moved in together and bought a house at the same damn time. Whew.
Mama we made it!!! And it was surprisingly a lot easier than I thought. Is that okay to say? Sorry B – I had my doubts. But at the end of the day, we totally kicked this year’s a$$ and it might just be one of my favorite years to date. Truth be told though, 27 was pretty awesome. More on that another time.
This week marks the anniversary of our closing date and the end of an awesome year with my boo. We learned a lot about ourselves and each other. We learned a lot about #adulting. And most importantly, we learned a lot about our home warranty plan…it’s all fun and games until you get a roof leak.
If I could share one piece of advice, well, it’s going to be more like three pieces, it would be this:
no. 1 Know your role.
This might be obvious but the moment we decided to move in together, we made a clear plan for what our roles & responsibilities would be at the house. Not only were we going from small apartments to a townhouse but we were going from being truly independent to having the benefit of sharing some responsibility. We wanted to create some structure so we felt a good balance of roles.
For me, the major control freak, I like to keep all of the admin stuff organized. I also work from home so it’s been a lot easier for me to be the one who coordinates things that need to be done at the house (cleaners, repairs, etc.). Brandon immediately knew he was going to jump in an handle all of the bill payments. Although we split everything pretty much 50/50, it’s easier for one person to set up automatic payments and coordinate that stuff and he kills it. We balance the budget together. Teamwork.
Most importantly, I didn’t want to fall into the role of cleaning lady and mom. While Brandon might not be the cleanest out of the pair of us, we agreed upfront that we would each be responsible for cleaning up after ourselves. Now don’t get me wrong, there are times where I’ll put his clothes away or put the dish he left on the counter in the sink (I just don’t get this one…). But for the most part, we do a good job balancing the upkeep and that was super important to me.
no. 2 Pick your battles.
This is honestly just a general relationship tip that has taken me years to master. Moving in with your boyfriend is one way to kick this one into full gear, believe me. Whether it was a messy basement, trash that didn’t go out on time, glitter all over the floor after a photoshoot (oops) – we both had to learn to control what took us from 0 to 100. Patience was key. Knowing the true limits for each other was also important. And of course, keeping communications open helped a ton. If something bothers one of us, I think we’re both doing a much better job at talking through it instead of letting it turn into an argument.
no. 3 Have fun
This should really be number one. It’s the most important for sure. When you go from planning date nights so you can see eachother to planning who is taking the trash out, a little bit of the magic gets lost. Throw in the fact that you’re now spending every single moment together…it can be a recipe for boredom and monotony. One of the things I love most about Brandon is that he loves to keep things fun.
Whether it’s just watching a movie at home, playing Monopoly or going out to eat, we try to make it a priority to add things to break up our routine at least once a week. It’s so easy to fall into the wake up, get dressed, go to work, come home, put on sweats, lay in bed routine and whenever you can get the chance to do something a little different, it makes that time together even more special.
Do you have any words of wisdom for newbies moving in with a boo? Drop it in the comments!