Vanity vs. Self Confidence


In the age of the selfie, it’s hard to determine the difference between confidence and straight up vanity. As a blogger, it’s literally my job to post pictures of myself on a daily basis. On top of that, my success is generally measured by how many of you like these pictures. It’s a vain business at its core and while there is so much more to it (creating inspiring content, sharing real stories, etc.) at the end of the day, it’s hard not to feel like a total sellout who is pretty much always “feeling herself”.

I was having this conversation with Shelby the other day and it just really got me thinking. We walk around and see girls taking selfies, posting selfies, retaking selfies…etc. And for the most part, I feel like some look down on it insinuating that these girls either need the attention because they have such low self-esteem or they just think they are hot shit and can’t stop won’t stop sharing pics of themselves. Honestly, they aren’t wrong. I would say selfie takers probably fall somewhere within that range and there’s not necessarily anything wrong with that. But if I’m being honest, I still feel super self conscious when I take a picture of myself and share it. I wonder to myself, “What are people thinking? Do they think I’m being vain? AM I being vain??”. It’s a constant struggle that lives well beyond the selfie.


It feels like women are supposed to naturally balance this combo of being confident and humble and when you go too much in one direction, it’s perceived as cocky or insecure. But what happens when you really think you’re looking sexy AF one day and wanna share it? What happens when it’s literally your job to show people pictures of you in the hopes that they’ll love it so much they’ll want to buy it for themselves?

So I’m going to tell you this. It’s okay to take a selfie.

You know what else is okay? Saying thank you when someone gives you a compliment. I can’t be the only one who totally gets awkward when receiving kind words. I don’t know why I do this but I get all embarrassed and try to think of excuses to why what they’re saying can’t be true. I try to straight up belittle their compliment instead of just saying thank you – and yeah, I sorta love my outfit too. It’s the opposite end of the confidence spectrum but I’m learning more and more that it’s all about finding that balance in yourself where you feel good about sharing a selfie every now and then and also accepting compliments while still being humble and not letting yourself get trapped in the vain side of things.


At the end of the day, there shouldn’t be anything wrong with wanting to share your confidence. Whether you’re doing it for yourself or trying to inspire other women, I think there’s something special about a person who can be vulnerable and rock their confidence no matter what. As long as you always have that humility to keep yourself grounded, I think having a little “I look good moment” is crucial for our wellbeing.

Who agrees?? Sound off in the comments!





  1. 7.24.18
    Tabitha said:

    Great post! I really enjoyed this post and the message in it. It seems like women in general are bombarded with harsh messages when it comes to vanity and humbleness. if a woman is prideful in her work and her photos, she’s labeled as vain. I think there should be a balance, but I see nothing wrong with a woman taking pride in herself and her work, even selfies!


  2. 7.24.18
    Gina Graves said:

    Spot on with your post.. well said

  3. 7.24.18
    Connie D Martin said:

    Very well said.

  4. 7.29.18
    Katie Lee said:

    Ah I love this so much! It’s so true! Social media encourages this kind of talk, but at the end of the day, who cares?! Who cares what photo I post or the next girl posts? Selfies or not, just post and let’s not talk negatively about each other or why they do it! And I too, can’t take a dang compliment! Ha!


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