If you remember in our last #REALationshipGoals post, I shared that we’re taking a fun & new approach to our bi-weekly dating stories. And I love it! Rather than us dropping all of our answers to the same questions in one post, we’re tackling heavier topics and splitting up the scenarios amongst all of our blogs – sorta like one of those traveling dinner parties. Today, we’re tackling privacy in relationships…or the lack there of.
First up, we’re dishing on some of the ways we spend time apart, how we got here, what’s working, what isn’t, etc. This topic is one that I actually used to hate talking about (more on that below) but now, it’s something that I appreciate a lot more. After you scroll through the next few paras, head over to Sabrina and Mae’s blogs for deets on the whole phone password situation and how we find alone time even when we’re together 99.9% of the time!
Q1: How do you spend time apart?
I’m not going to lie – this whole idea of alone time was probably one of the biggest growing pains in our relationship until recently. I guess you could say I am an extrovert in every sense of the word. I thrive and get all of my energy by being around other people. It doesn’t necessarily just mean that I’m outgoing. I literally become the best version of myself when I can tap into the energy other people give off. So, it’s pretty obvious that I was always hanging around B even when he might not have wanted me there 🙂 After a few talks and coming to some common ground over the past few months, we’ve done a pretty fair job at spending a little less time together and more time embracing the things in life we enjoy outside of our relationship. And to be clear, this was more of an assignment for me than it was for B. But anyways, when we’re apart there’s a 99.9% chance that I’m working on contractor projects, my blog or Adorn. The other .1% is spent hanging with my girlfriends or binge watching a Netflix Show. And it’s balance that I love. B has a ton of awesome friends (#GrammyFamily) and recently took on some pretty #boss positions throughout his field and the community so he’s been spending some of his “away” time going after those passions.
It feels good to finally be in a rhythm of spending lots of time together while also tackling things “outside” of just the two of us. But don’t be fooled – it took us time to get here and lots and lots of patience!
Mae: This is difficult to answer because the short answer is that we don’t. Other than the time we spend at work, we spend the majority of our time together. We run errands together, we cook together, we go out together, we even get our hair cut together. However, we still both see value in fostering our own lives and relationships. So, we spend most of our free time together, but there are still a few ways we spend time apart. Because I work from home, I get a fair amount of “me” time as it is. I also take time to go get my nails done, meet friends for lunch, or go for a walk every now and then. Nick works in an office but he gets to go to lunch with his friends everyday, works out several times a week, and plays guitar. Sometimes I go to blogging events or meet up with friends for dinner. Nick and I also have couple friends that we hang out with separately. Like, the girls will go do something and the guys will go do something and then we’ll all meet up after.
Surprisingly enough, work keep Sahir and I pretty busy throughout the week. Especially during this time of year. I work for March Madness Live and spend the first 3 months of the year in a pretty crazy schedule that includes nights and weekends. I won’t lie, it’s hard to spend time together, because we’re often apart. There was one point last year that we had gone days without seeing each other – and we live together! Sahir is an entrepreneur and he is always the first one in his office and last one out. He leaves before me in the morning and comes home about an hour or so after me (on a normal schedule) If we’re lucky, we usually spend about 3-4 hours together a night and that includes time that he’s working on his computer and I’m blogging for tomorrow. We both try to focus on what needs to be done for work and our businesses – but always curl up together and watch a show or read a chapter of a book before bed if we can.