My Love/Hate Relationship with Blogging

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Dude. Blogging is hard. It’s crazy to believe that this is my actual job and there really isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t feel a little lucky. To be doing what I love and to be my own boss – it’s cool. For the most post. As with any industry and any career though, there are ups and downs. There are days where I literally want to quit and there are days where I am literally jumping for joy over a new project.

Whether you’re a blogger and can totally relate or just a reader looking for a little more insight into what goes on “behind the scenes”, I thought it was time to get a little more real and share what really goes through my mind when it comes to this crazy business.

Here goes nothing.

The struggle…

The comparison is REAL. Where do I even start with this one? It might be the thing I hate most. I don’t care how confident you are, it’s extremely difficult not to compare yourself to other bloggers. You see them getting opportunities you weren’t selected for. You see their “highlights” in life and wonder why your house our boyfriend or body isn’t just like that. You see their audience growing at a higher pace than yours. It’s hard. This is nothing new and I’m sure it’s not specific to the blogging world but I’m trying my hardest to break through this mindset and celebrate what my peers are doing instead of being a total hater. And let’s be real, we all have those moments. I have to remind myself that by those other bloggers doing great things, they’re opening the door for me to get great opportunities in the future.

Lack of opportunities for WOC. I could probably write a full post about this and I just might but for now, I have to put it out there. While the opportunities for women of color are slowly increasing, they’re still pretty limited. We all saw the “scandal” with Revolve a few months back and it pains me every time I see a brand campaign full of bloggers all looking the same. It starts to feel pretty discouraging when you feel like you don’t fit that brand’s mold, especially when it’s something you can’t change. However, when the opportunities do come up, it feels like such a big win and that’s something that keeps me hopeful. I’m starting to see more WOC land these huge projects and the more we can promote these wins, the better for all of us, colorful, curvy or not!

The inconsistency is brutal. There are slow months in this business. As in months where I start looking for part time reception jobs at tanning salons. I’m my own boss and this is my main source of income. If I have a slow month, it scares the $h!t out of me. I try to always have a few months of rent + expenses saved at all times but it’s still terrifying when some months don’t go as planned. I wish I was one of those bloggers making $50k a month but I’m not. Surprise.

Constantly Connected. I feel like I’m all #firstworldproblems right now but this is it, I swear. As a blogger/influencer/content creator, we are always connected in some way. Whether it’s checking and replying to emails, scrolling through IG, replying to tweets, posting content, checking newsletters, etc. I feel like I’m always glued to a screen and because it’s “work” it’s really hard to find the balance. I am trying my hardest to unplug on the weekends and after 9/10:00pm on the weekdays but it’s HARD y’all.

Why I LOVE my job…

Hands down, being my own boss rules. Not to brag (seriously), but it feels amazing to wake up every day knowing I report to ME and no one else. To be my own creative director, accountant, admin, legal counsel, etc….that feels pretty amazing. It comes with stress of course but it’s not something that everyone can claim and I have to remind myself that it’s pretty special. Over the past year I’ve learned more about my work ethic than I ever could have at a corporate job and regardless of what the future holds, these are skills I’ll be able to take with me into any future career move.

The flexibility is no joke. I’ve talked a lot about my love for travel and the need to explore other passions outside of blogging. With a full time corporate job, I didn’t have that flexibility. Now blogging full time, I have the freedom to create a schedule based around opportunities, travels, personal time and more and that’s something I will never take for granted. It’s hard to imagine I might have to go back to more structure one day so I plan to soak this up for as long as I can!

For every NO, there’s an awesome YES. I just landed THE biggest contract of my life. I can’t wait to share details once everything kicks off next month but it’s an opportunity that I still can’t believe I landed. Every now and then, these come up and it reminds me to keep pushing and working hard. For every slow month or thousands of no’s I get (there are a ton), these kickass yes’s come along and it makes me super excited to do what I’m doing.

I’ve met some real bosses. The girls I’ve met over the past few years are truly some of my best friends. A huge shout out to Jessica (my travel partner in crime), Megan (business partner & bestie), Sabrina (photo shoot homie & forever coffee date), Mae (the sweetest person and cutest mommy), Laticia (the warmest soul EVER) and soooooo many more — I never would have met this incredible women if it wasn’t for my blog. It reminds me to always put effort into building my network and maintaining those important relationships.

How I’m finding my way through the middle of it all…

So, this post was not meant to be a list of complaints and braggy moments. Instead, I wanted to share some of the real thoughts I have about this industry and my “job”. It isn’t all marble backdrops and cute lattes and awesome trips. It comes, like any job, with lots of stressful moments and pain points but there are also a ton of reasons to celebrate. For me, writing things down and having them to look back to helps me stay on top of a positive mindset. Whether you’re a blogger, a reader or looking to get into the industry, I hope this post offered a little insight. And if it didn’t, here are the details for my outfit – because, that’s obviously the most important part.

BLACK DRESS | JEAN JACKET | HEELS

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Photos by Shelby Gordon