To say 2018 was a big year for me would be a massive understatement. But before we get into that, you should know one thing before you start reading this post.
I have no intentions of reviewing the previous year and talking about my goals for 2019. I did a lot, I accomplished a lot, I let a few goals slide and I have some serious dreams set for the new year. But that’s not what I want to talk about (today).
Today’s post is about the one thing that clicked for me this year, how I got there and how I’m planning to evolve into the year ahead.
So, let’s dive in shall well?
Throughout the year, I talked a lot about self-love, confidence and body image. Can I tell you a secret? It was all bullshit. What I said wasn’t, but the person it was coming (me) from was pretty much full of shit. Let me explain.
Here’s the thing. Everything I said about putting yourself first, finding confidence in yourself no matter and embracing the idea that every body is beautiful – that is all true. And I stand by that message even more today than I did then. But If I’m going to be 100% honest with you guys, the girl writing those posts was faking it. I wasn’t confident. I didn’t love my body. I wasn’t doing anything to put myself first. And the list goes on. I wanted to do all of those things. I wanted to embody “that girl”. And maybe every now and then I was but in all actuality, I was a poser trying to convince herself she was confident and secure and a badass….and I wasn’t.
That is, until I made a change.
Some may or may not know this but B and I took a break for a few weeks in May. At the start of it all, I was devastated and confused…and then I had an epiphany. I realized that I wasn’t being a good girlfriend. I was doing all of the right things on paper but I wasn’t the greatest version of myself which was causing me to not be a great partner. I was insecure and lost track of myself, and no fault to Brandon. It was all on me. He had some things to work on too but, during this break, I realized it was time for me to take control of where I was.
You know by now that I decided to start with my health. I hired a trainer and started to make my health, fitness and wellness a priority. Sure, my goal in the beginning was pretty shallow – to lose weight. I wasn’t happy with the way I was feeling and I contributed it to my weight.
For the past few months, I’ve been putting in lots of hard work in the gym (and the kitchen) and while I have definitely made some physical changes that have led to a healthier version of myself, the changes I’ve made on the inside have been huge.
And that’s what today’s post is about. Not the weight I’ve lost or the inches I’ve shed or the muscles I’ve gained. Not about the confidence I’ve built because of these physical changes or the internal growth I’ve seen from being stronger, putting myself first, etc.
Today’s post is about celebration. The second half of this year has been one of the most impactful moments of my life to date. Not only did I change my health around for the better but Brandon and I have gotten stronger, my business has never been better and I finally can say, without any bullshit, that I LOVE MYSELF.
And that may or may not be a vain statement – but I don’t care. Anyone knows me knows that I’m not a shallow person but to say I’ve been showing off my new confidence with pride would probably be an understatement. I’m proud of the work I’ve put in (physically) but I’m even more proud of the growth I’ve made in accepting and celebrating myself. I spent years showering those around me with love and gifts and celebrations and never felt really comfortable doing the same for myself. Now, when a brand wrongs me or Brandon pushes a button (hey, it happens) or something gets in the way of a goal, instead of retreating, I stand up with a puffed out chest and push back.
I tell myself that I am amazing (still with a few faults) and deserve to feel that way as often as I can. I embrace the sad times, the frustrations, the anger and the tears. But I also celebrate every chance I can.
I celebrated my body and my love for it with these awesome photos (shoutout to OWN Boudoir). I celebrated a successful year for LaurenELyce.com with a big gift for myself (more on that later) and I’m already planning an epic celebration for my 30th to Morocco because I’m PROUD of where I’m at as I wrap up year 29.
So, my biggest piece of advice. Celebrate yourself. No matter how big or small the accomplishment is. Hell, even if there isn’t an accomplishment, celebrate YOU. You will be amazed at what it will do for your confidence and the good vibes you put out there for others. So keep on inspiring yourself and empowering those awesome babes around you!
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